[benellis58]

Can't complain about the score (another 100 % for NS, another complete zero for EW), but that is QUITE a 2S bid by North! Yes, I understand the concept of balancing, but:

He has THREE (!) HCP - comprised of a JACK in his five-card "side" suit and a queen - a DOUBLETON queen.

His "suit" is a mere FOUR-bagger, and the "quality" leaves a LITTLE (ha, ha!) to be desired...with 9753!

He is doing this red against white!

Luckily I had GOLD for him, as this was one of my frequent operations playing with and against these hopeless GIBBO clowns, and for STARTERS I had NINETEEN QUALITY HCP (!) for my "15-17" INT, but for all HE knew, I could have had a mere 15, and it could have been a LOUSY 15!

https://www.bridgeba...H3%7Cpc%7CSK%7C

[benellis58]

Trick four: East leads the 10 of diamonds - a colossally stupid play that gives me the whole suit. There was once a commercial for a cleaning product that claimed the product was "stronger than dirt". GIBBO robots could paraphrase this as their motto: Dumber than dirt.

https://www.bridgeba...CQ%7Cmc%7C10%7C

[benellis58]

Wretched declarer play by the GIBBO simpleton in the East. That's right, declarer play: the one and ONLY facet of bridge that the GIBBO dirtbags are not completely hopeless at...but as this hand shows, they aren't particularly GOOD at it either.

And speaking of wretched, why does North play the NINE of spades at trick one rather than correctly playing the eight? This is an example of the COUNTLESS "little" things that these GIBBO bozos get wrong...and that often go unnoticed because people are focused on their more obvious BIG atrocities. GIBBO is trash.

https://www.bridgeba...DQ%7Cpc%7CH7%7C

[benellis58]

Just because you play a convention it doesn't mean you're forced to use it. Bidding two HEARTS on West's hand looks foolhardy, and the doofus got what he deserved.

https://www.bridgeba...D8%7Cpc%7CC4%7C

[benellis58]

Another wretched "defence".

https://www.bridgeba...HK%7Cmc%7C11%7C

[benellis58]

Typical stupidity and inconsistency from a typical GIBBO robot - in other words, a typical M.O.R.O.N., because all GIBBO robots are M.O.R.O.N.S.

West passes East's 1S when he could and almost certainly should bid 1NT. Yet when East later competes with 2S, West NOW...SUDDENLY...decides that he MUST bid TWO no trump. This is defined as "Invitational to 3NT". Oops! Oh no! I made a TERRIBLE mistake! Please FORGIVE me! I'm SO sorry, honest I am! I don't know how I could have been SO careless! You see, I foolishly left out a KEY word from that definition! It didn't JUST say "Invitational to 3NT" - it said "Invitational to 3NT GAME"! I stupidly omitted that oh-so-crucial word "game", so probably NO ONE realized that 3NT is actually "game". Silly, silly me! I guess I'll never be hired to write those wonderful GIB definitions, because GIB definitions NEVER forget to inform EVERYONE that 3NT is actually - can you believe it (?) "game".

2S would almost certainly have made, but 2NT went down. The latest in a never-ending collection of hands where a braindead GIBBO robot punished his "partner" for competing, and also the latest where a GIBBO dimwit turned a plus into a minus.

Then again, maybe I'm being unfair. Maybe it was a "rescue" attempt that failed. Maybe Superstooge in the West looked at his hand and said, "Oh no! I only have TWO spades! I MUST rescue my partner."

Throw them OUT, please! DESTROY them, please! They are unmitigated garbage. SURELY there are BETTER robots in the modern world!

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/2hnsmvke

[benellis58]

West's "defence" is a thing of "beauty". For no discernible reason, he leads the ace pf hearts. Then he shifts. To a spade? Oh no, PERISH the thought! After all, he and his partner BOTH bid spades, so of course he would NEVER want to lead a SPADE! He...of COURSE...shifts to a club, the suit DECLARER bid... twice, and his club shift is INTO declarer. Of COURSE it is.

Poor West: He is astonished when South takes TWELVE tricks and equally ASTONISHED to see that he and East get a very bad score while NS get a very good one. "I just don't get it, " he says, "Maybe I should give up bridge and start a new hobby<" to which I say, "AMEN, Brother West, AMEN!. That's the first intelligent thing any GIBBO robot has ever said!"

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/2p9xpjm6

[benellis58]

After 1C by South, 1H by North, 1S by South, 1NT by North, South bids 2C. Quite obviously, South is "running" from NT. Quite obviously, he feels that clubs will be a better spot. Quite obviously, he has a shapely hand - almost certainly with exactly four spades and at LEAST six clubs. Quite obviously, he is not interested in game, since his 2C bid is passable. And not only is North now allowed to pass, but North is now expected to pass.

North...bids (!)...two...no trump! If North DOES choose to bid over 2C, SURELY his bid should be two DIAMONDS, not 2NT! When these dweebs fill out a census form, do they write "I.D.I.O.T." on the line where it asks for their nationality? If not, they sure as Hell should!

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/47xr28yw

[benellis58]

West makes an intelligent lead for once in his miserable robotic "life". Bravo!

But when West later wins his offside spade king, he immediately fires back a...spade (!) because these intellectual wizards LOVE to return DECLARER'S suit.

West earns himself a very well-deserved ZERO to add to his massive lifetime collection.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/a4w9fzak

[benellis58]

Not exactly the best double of 5D (and a typically useless and pathetic GIB definition of the double also). Not exactly the best "defence" either. Thanks for the good score, Johnny Halfwit. Thanks to you also, Donald J. Dumbo. I won't shake your hand, though. No insult intended - it's just that I know your hand bruises very easily.

https://www.bridgeba...SK%7Cmc%7C12%7C

[benellis58]

Another hand from OMARHEUM, who writes "Routine 3NT. I decide to start by running clubs - can't hurt, might help. West is kind enough to pitch two diamonds, eliminating any possible guess in the suit. This result occurred 52 times."

OMAR's hand reminds us of two of the countless reasons that the GIBBO monstrosities are so agonizingly, disgustingly hopeless at anything and everything about bridge.

One: They are incapable of thinking.

Two: They stupidly consider ONLY their OWN hand, totally ignoring the other three at the table. That is why on SO many hands they "defend" horrendously, bid horribly, and have numerous peccadilloes such as their ridiculous propensity to "rescue" partner if (Heaven forbid!) they are not armed for bear in his suit.

On this hand, any actual bridge player or even any DECENT robot would realize as soon as he saw dummy that the two most important cards in his hand were the 106 of diamonds and that he MUST hold on to both! He would immediately see that if declarer had the KQ of diamonds - even if they were accompanied by no others - he would take six diamond tricks. Thus, West knows as soon as dummy comes down that his only hope is that his partner East has the king and/or queen of diamonds. If pard has the king, all will be well (unless it's a singleton, in which case diamond pitches might lead South to drop it). And if pard has only the queen, but no king, declarer might have a nasty guess (as he would have had on THIS hand...if Johnny Halfwit had held on to his two diamonds).

But afflicted by not only his terminal, ever-present stupidity but also his fatal tunnel vision, Mr. Halfwit considers - as always - only his own hand, and says, "Uh, golly gee, my diamonds will never take any tricks, but my spades and hearts might, so I'll be REALLY smart and throw my useless diamonds. Mr. Ginsberg and BBO will be SO proud of me."

https://www.bridgeba...DQ%7Cmc%7C13%7C

[benellis58]

We scored 75 % for going down one in 5c doubled. It seemed clear to me to pull North's "penalty" (ha, ha!) double of 4S, not just because of my very shapely hand, but largely (and possibly even mainly) because my "partner" was a disgusting GIBBO robot (as they all are), and I have been burned too many times when these fleabrained dolts doubled ice cold contracts for no reason.

Note that on this hand, North's double was defined as "8+ HCP; 16- total points". Of course, the definition was a fairly useless piece of trash, as SO many GIB definitions are, but that does not alter the fact that the robots should be following their own GIB definitions. North had a mere THREE HCP. not even close to his "promised" MINIMUM of 8. Why are these worthless GIBBO robots still polluting BBO with their presence? Why are they still here - tarnishing an otherwise fine bridge site?

By the way, look at West's breathtakingly stupid lead of a DIAMOND on THIS auction! Do all GIBBO robots breakfast each morning on huge bowls of stupidity pills?

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/yckkbcan

[benellis58]

First, it's amazing that East did not bid 5S in passout seat. EVEN a clueless GIBBO robot should have been able to figure THAT out, but I guess they're even worse than I thought...and I already thought that they were the worst "bridge players" I have ever seen in my life.

Second, how could that same M.O.R.O.N. not lead the ace of spades?

Every day they seem even worse than the day before.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/4563tkjk

[benellis58]

Donald J. Dumbo, sitting West and wearing makeup on his face and hands, wins his diamond ace at trick four. At trick five he immediately plays back a...diamond. These GIBBO jerks never learn.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/yr36erva

[benellis58]

Our result was fine, but that was QUITE a 3NT call by North with his SEVEN spades!

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/3hmrfs6m

[benellis58]

Typically imbecilic lead by West.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/w5f5km9j

[benellis58]

The robots must walk around with giant black rainclouds constantly over their heads.

West leads a spade. For once he has made a normal lead that is beyond criticism, but thanks to that omnipresent black cloud, the poor stiff chose to make one of his rare normal leads at precisely the wrong time on this random layout.

Declarer South wins dummy's stiff ace. He didn't even have to think about that play (ha, ha).

At trick two, declarer South calls for dummy's club 3, and "defender" East flies with his ace from A2 doubleton. On some random layouts, that could be "right", but I think that more often ducking is a superrior play. Here, for example, if East ducks, South might guess correctly and play his king, but he might also misguess and insert his jack, which would lose to West's queen.

Anyway, East's ace wins trick two, and he then does something almost UNHEARD OF for GIBBO robots: He actually return's his PARTNER'S suit! Now, returning PARTNER'S suit is usually a GOOD thing, and DECENT players are well aware of that, but GIBBO robots almost always HATE to return PARTNER'S SUIT. Unfortunately for East, he chose to make this very rare play (for GIBBO robots!) at exactly the wrong time!

He even returns the CORRECT spade (the queen from his remaining Q10 doubleton) - something the GIBBO robots often fail to do. He has just made another normal play at exactly the wrong time, because South - who MIGHT (?) have popped his KING had East (incorrectly) returned the 10 rather than the queen, now has absolutely NO chance to go wrong. He of course wins his king, knowing that his jack is now also a winner.

South wins his spade king, cashes two diamonds from his hand, then cashes the spade jack. He then travels to dummy and cashes three more diamonds, pitching the two worthless hearts (74 doubleton) that he was born with on dummy's last two diamonds. By now, NS have won 8 of the first 9 tricks.

South's last 4 cards are the stiff 8 of spades and the KJ5 of clubs. Dummy North's last 4 are the 10864 of clubs. At trick 10, he calls for dummy's club 10 to coax a potential cover, since EW's last two clubs are the queen and deuce. When East follows with the deuce, South, for several reasons, spurns the finesse and flies with his king...dropping West's queen and taking ALL the remaining tricks.

In his lowly 1NT contract, with FOURTEEN (!) HCP opposite seven, declarer took TWELVE tricks, making his contract with...FIVE overtricks, and scoring the expected 100 % on the board. Meanwhile, EW, who really did nothing terribly wrong (with their worst play - the popping of the club ace at trick two - being a play that would often not cost and might sometimes even gain) scored one of their trademark total zeroes. Thus, this was a hand where I almost felt sorry for them, as usually their zeroes are well-deserved because of their horrendous play, but here they were as innocent as I've ever seen them...but...

They picked the WRONG time to play normally. Black cloud indeed!

https://www.bridgeba...CQ%7Cmc%7C12%7C

[benellis58]

North makes a perfectly normal opening bid of 1D. South responds with a perfectly normal 1H.

North makes a perfectly normal rebid of 1NT, showing 12-14 HCP.

South bids a perfectly normal 4NT, defined by GIB as "Quantitative invite to 6NT - 4+ hearts; 19-20 HCP".

North, who earlier correctly indicated that he has 12-14 HCP, carefully examines his hand. Using 8 fingers, 2 thumbs, and two toes, he manages (probably with GREAT difficulty) to count ALL his HCP - 12 in total. He MIGHT have had 14, and he MIGHT have had 13, but he actually has...TWELVE - the FEWEST points he could POSSIBLY have considering his earlier bidding, so he...of COURSE...ACCEPTS THE INVITATION!

This is the stage of the report where I once AGAIN ask all GIBBO apologists, defenders, and cultists (!) to remind us once more of how the GIBBO robots are "better than most human players"!!!!!!!

Oh yeah, SURE they are...and BTW, I hear that the moon really IS made of green cheese!

https://www.bridgeba...DJ%7Cpc%7CCT%7C

[benellis58]

East, with EIGHT (!) spades (the "master suit") stays completely silent for the entire auction, doing nothing but passing at all four of his turns to bid.

On the layout, EW are ICE COLD for ELEVEN tricks in spades. If they bid the spade game, they would make it with an overtrick, but they NEVER even bid the suit.

North-South blast into a game of their own: 3NT. This has one tiny little defect: their COMBINED spade "stopper" is stiff king opposite stiff 5 (!)...but against GIBBO robots, that "little defect" is no problem whatsoever. West leads a heart and declarer rattles off the first nine tricks - five diamonds and four hearts.

His game now secure, declarer South, at trick 10, leads his 5 of clubs towards dummy North's Q1097. West plays the jack. Declarer calls for dummy's queen.

East wins his club king ("nice play", as the late great Mr. Kantar would amusingly say). At trick 11, with the 98 of spades and the 6 of clubs being his last 3 cards, East plays his...6 of clubs (!), because GIBBO "defenders" LOVE to return the suit DECLARER just played. It was irrelevant here, since after he took the first 9 tricks in the red suits, it was impossible to score any more winners, but it is STILL "amusing" that East stuck to his GIBBO guns and returned the suit DECLARER had just played.

So, to summarize: EW could and should have bid 4S, making with an overtrick, for plus 450. Not only did they fail to bid the game, they failed to even bid the SUIT, their ELEVEN-card fit in the MASTER suit. Then, to pour some gravy on the mashed potatoes and bring warm and pleasant memories to Dee Dee Sharp, they ALLOWED NS to take 9 tricks and score up their 3NT contract, which resulted in a score of MINUS 400 for EW...despite the fact that they COULD have taken the first TEN (!) tricks (8 spades, 2 in clubs), thereby beating it SIX and scoring PLUS 300. Even THAT would have been small consolation for the plus 450 that they SHOULD have scored by bidding and making 4S with an overtrick, but they couldn't even do THAT!

GIBBO robots...what's the word I'm looking for (?)...come on, what's the word I'm looking for? Oh yeah, NOW I remember: GIBBO robots...GIBBO robots...rot!!!

https://www.bridgeba...S9%7Cpc%7CC2%7C

[benellis58]

North foolishly raises to FOUR hearts, turning a plus into a minus.

https://www.bridgeba...CS6%7Cmc%7C9%7C