[benellis58]

East has the 1094 of spades. His partner West leads the spade 5 against South's contract of 3NT. Dummy has 83 doubleton and declarer South calls for the 3. East is so completely ignorant about bridge that he doesn't even know which of his three spades he should play. The dimwitted stooge gets it wrong - he gets this straightforward, common, easy, obvious thing wrong. He stupidly plays his TEN. Like every single GIBBO robot I have ever seen, he is nothing but garbage. He should not be playing bridge. He should be in a landfill.

At trick 11 West has a pitch to make. Does he make the right pitch? Come on, answer the question. Does he make the right pitch? Yes or no?

Oh, all right, I'll give you a clue. He's a GIBBO robot. Now please answer the question. Does he make the right pitch?

Well, I KNEW I shouldn't have given such a STRONG clue. EVERYONE came up with the right answer. Since he's a contemptible GIBBO robot, of COURSE he didn't make the right pitch.

96.4 % on the board for North-South, a miserable, stinking 3.6 % for the miserable, stinking GIBBO robots sitting East-West.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/27449tha

[benellis58]

Hearts-style Challenge, where, unbeknownst to the robots, I am actually trying to LOSE as many tricks as possible.

They are playing to the...ahem..."best" of their...ahem..."ability" and trying to WIN as many tricks as possible.

Trick two: Looking at dummy's remaining AQ4, 1064, 87543, J, West feels that the best card he can POSSIBLY lead from KJ7, J53, 2, 98763 is his...king of spades. That wins, as declarer calls for dummy's queen to be played under West's king. West then plays the jack of spades, which also wins, as declarer calls for dummy's 4.

West then shifts to the 2 of diamonds, won by East's 9. East cashes his club king from AK1054. South plays the queen, West the three, dummy its stiff jack. East has the A1054 remaining. The ace and 10 are both high. Dummy has no clubs left, having played its stiff jack. Declarer's hand is hidden, but East just saw him play the club queen...UNDER East's king.

East contemplates, nods, and smugly says, "Okay, I've figured out the whole hand. He then plays the 5...of...SPADES.

No, no, no : I did NOT say that the GIBBO robots are GOOD!

https://www.bridgeba...C7%7Cpc%7CD4%7C

[benellis58]

Hearts-style Challenge again, where I'm trying to LOSE as many tricks as possible.

Trick four: East leads the heart 3. Declarer South plays the 2. West, East's partner, has the 1084. He can see that dummy North, his LHO, has the J75. "No way I'm wasting ny 10 or even my 8," West says proudly. "They'll probably both take MANY tricks later." He plays the FOUR!!!

This is a very common strategy used by the execrable GIBBO robots. It's called "GIVING UP".

https://www.bridgeba...S4%7Cpc%7CC3%7C

[benellis58]

After the typically bad BBO break in clubs, East wins the fourth club trick and plays a...heart. Thank you for your USUAL "generosity" as a "defender", Mr. East.

I guess he never learned the Rule of Eleven, and...

I guess he didn't see his partner West pitch the THREE of hearts at his first opportunity. Mind you, in fairness (ha, ha) these total losers treat all spot cards interchangeably and rarely if ever signal anyway, so how could the poor ignorant stooge be expected to figure it out?

West was also a fool (surprise, surprise - ha, ha) for pitching a SPADE at his second toss. Why do these inept fleabrains even bother playing? They're useless and they're hopeless.

https://www.bridgeba...DJ%7Cpc%7CDT%7C

[benellis58]

Speaking of fleabrains, please allow me to introduce you to Mr. North, a GIBBO robot who thought it was a BRILLIANT idea to lead his KING of hearts against 1NT, thereby IMMEDIATELY severing communications with his "partner" South and IMMEDIATELY ensuring that NS would score only TWO defensive heart tricks instead of the FOUR that they were legitimately entitled to and SHOULD have taken.

Mr. North, like every single one of his GIB and GIBBO brethren, might be a nice enough "creature" (as they are all VERY generous to their OPPONENTS), but is complete GARBAGE as a "bridge player".

https://www.bridgeba...S4%7Cpc%7CHT%7C

[benellis58]

NS scored 61.70 % for going down "only" one in 2S...but the reason I'm posting this is to expose the typically inept bidding of the perpetually clueless GIBBO robot in the North.

After his LHO, East, deals and opens 1H, South and West both pass. North, in passout position in fourth seat, has, white against red, AK97, 73, 8652, A83. He decides to balance. I fully agree...but I do not agree at all with the M.O.R.O.N.'S decision of how to balance.

The braindead piece of trash bids 1S. My objection is not that he did this on a four-bagger. I probably overcall on four-baggers as often as anyone and more often than most. Here, however, it is breathtakingly stupid to do so, because he has a perfectly normal double, with support for all three unbid suits, decent defensive values if his partner South decides to convert for penalties, and no REAL suit of his own. The double is an obvious choice for anyone who has even a CLUE about how to play bridge - which is obviously why the totally zoned-out piece of trash GIBBO robot couldn't even THINK of it.

GIBBO robots suck pumice. Pro wrestler Bret Hart bragged that he was "The best there is, the best there was, the best there ever will be". GIBBO robots could safely "brag" that they are "The WORST there is, the WORST there was, the WORST there EVER will be". I would NOT disagree.

https://www.bridgeba...C9%7Cpc%7CCJ%7C

[benellis58]

The GIBBO robot sitting West actually makes a GOOD lead! He is on his way to DEFEATING my 3NT contract, thanks to his EXCELLENT lead!

Although I am unhappy (and very, VERY, VERY surprised that he made a good lead!), I pride myself on being a good sport, so I immediately say, "Nice lead, Mr. West."

Maybe I should also apologize to him for saying over... and over... and over again that I consider him and all his GIB and GIBBO brethren to be the absolutely worst "bridge players" of all time - and by FAR? But being a careful sort, I figure it's best to wait until the hand is over before issuing this apology.

I win trick one with dummy's spade nine, because I know how the Rule of Eleven works... UNLIKE the massively ignorant GIBBO pieces of garbage (see post # 1424 for proof!). At trick two, in desperate and dire straits, I lead a heart to my jack, hoping for a lucky layout in the suit (which there actually WAS, as it turns out). Curtains! It loses to West's queen. BUT the GOOD news is that thanks to the 3-3 diamond break and also to the fact that East has only a singleton 10 remaining in hearts (as I discover later - that "lucky layout" that I mentioned actually DID exist), I WILL have enough tricks to make my contract...if West ERRS.

Sure enough, he DOES err. He makes the fatal and OBVIOUS mistake of cashing his spade ace, thereby SEVERING his communication with his partner East while simultaneously establishing my spade king as a winner. He then plays a diamond and I emerge with 10 tricks and a score of 93 % on the board, while he "earns" a score of 7 %. I actually could have taken ELEVEN tricks after West's clueless series of plays, had I opted to put all my chickens into the basket of East having specifically a stiff heart ten remaining, but I played clubs instead because that guaranteed me an overtrick at this point even if the heart 10 was NOT dropping. The overtrick was a lock playing clubs, whereas if I first tried for the "miracle" in hearts (cashing dummy's ace, felling my own king, and hoping that the enemy 10 would drop on THAT trick) could hold me to "only" NINE tricks if the heart 10 did NOT drop and was in the hand of the opponent who held the club ace. He could then CASH that presumed heart 10 if it had NOT dropped under the ace on the second round of the suit.

West's only LEGITIMATE chance of beating me after winning his heart queen was to hope his partner had an entry to lead the second round of spades THROUGH my remaining KJ dub. Had West guessed correctly by leading a CLUB at trick three, East would have won his ace and fired back his remaining spade through my KJ. East-West would have beaten me THREE tricks via the heart queen, the club ace, and FIVE spades. Had West guessed incorrectly and led a DIAMOND at trick three, I would have had sympathy for him, because he would have had the right idea but had been unlucky in guessing which ace his partner had. On a DIAMOND return, I would have emerged with ELEVEN tricks, because in desperation I would have been forced to overtake my heart king with dummy's ace, hoping that the 10 would drop - and it WOULD. My eleven tricks would very luckily be the NINE of spades at trick one, five diamonds thanks to the fortunate 3-3 split and five hearts thanks to the 10 dropping doubleton.

But West did NOT guess correctly to lead a club at trick three and he did NOT play well but guess incorrectly by playing a diamond at trick three. He...GAVE UP by stupidly cashing his spade ace and breaking communications with his partner and establishing a spade winner for me. His cashing was STUPID because he KNEW from trick one that I had both the king and jack of spades. Otherwise, with EITHER, his partner East would have COVERED dummy's 9.

I had been ALL SET to extend West the APOLOGY I described in paragraph three of this post, but after seeing his thoughtless butchery at trick three, I called up the spirit of my New York amigos and brusquely said, "Fuggedaboudit!"

https://www.bridgeba...D9%7Cmc%7C10%7C

[benellis58]

West's lead of the club jack, looking ONLY at his hand and not listening to the auction, doesn't seem so bad, BUT considering that declarer South jump-shifted into CLUBS, it doesn't seem so GOOD.

West was later squeezed between clubs and diamonds, allowing declarer to make an overtrick. Had West led the diamond king instead of the club jack, the squeeze would have been inoperable as NS communication would have been prematurely cut off. Even after his club lead, West could still have broken up the squeeze by playing his diamond king after winning the spade jack, but...West is a GIBBO robot so West DIDN'T break up the squeeze.

NS had a shared top of 96 % for making eleven tricks. You can do the math yourselves to see what the GIBBO robots scored.

https://www.bridgeba...DK%7Cmc%7C11%7C

[benellis58]

This is the same hand as in post # 1428 above, but from another table. At that table, the human South chose to open 2C, and over North's "waiting" bid of 2D (the "correct" bid in the absolutely hopeless 2C structure of GIBBO), South bid 4NT, which I assume he intended as Blackwood. That is not what the GIB definition of 4NT is on this auction, so the human was not blameless in the disaster that followed, but as always I am NOT here to bash humans. I am here to, as Diana so wisely explained in the title of this ESSENTIAL thread that she so wisely created, "bash" the GIB (and GIBBO) robots. The purpose, as always, is to alert the powers that be in the (increasingly forlorn!) hope that they will either SUBSTANTIALLY improve the horrendously incompetent GIBBO robots or - better yet - get rid of them once and for all (!) and replace them with DECENT robots that can actually...play bridge! That would be GREAT for all BBO members and customers, and it would probably be ESPECIALLY great for BBO itself, as it would make it more enticing for existing BBO customers to REMAIN with BBO (rather than abandoning it in favour of another bridge platform) AND for attracting NEW customers to BBO looking to play with and against COMPETENT robots.

So, on to the robot BASHING. Over South's (admittedly anti-systemic) 4NT, the GIBBO robot in the North COMMITTED one of his USUAL atrocities: He...leapt to SEVEN...NO TRUMP! This did NOT end well for him or his poor human victim...oops, sorry, I mean his poor human "partner". (Yeah, SURE I do, SURE I do - nudge, nudge, wink, wink).

Doubled. Down 6. Vulnerable. Minus...1700! Yes, Virginia, there IS a Santa Claus (or so they say, anyway) and yes, Virginia, this WAS yet ANOTHER total zero for the GIBBO robot in the North to add to his MASSIVE and ever-expanding lifetime collection.

https://www.bridgeba...D5%7Cpc%7CDJ%7C

[benellis58]

East said to himself, "Nah, I don't need to keep my CLUBS".

These GIBBO robots are a riot, an absolute RIOT.

https://www.bridgeba...HJ%7Cpc%7CDT%7C

[benellis58]

GIBBO "logic": The GIBBO doofus (aren't they ALL?) in the West contemplates his opening lead:

"Let's see," he says to himself, "Was there an unbid suit? Ah, yes - CLUBS. Okay, then there's NO way I'm leading a CLUB. What did DECLARER open the bidding with? Let me try to remember. Oh yeah, he opened one DIAMOND. That settles it then. Thank HEAVEN I remembered the auction, because now I have an OBVIOUS lead. Of COURSE I'll lead a DIAMOND...INTO...declarer...who OPENED ID. We'll probably beat the contract five or six tricks with this lead. Darn it, why didn't I double?"

https://www.bridgeba...H7%7Cmc%7C12%7C

[benellis58]

Declarer South leads clubs TWICE in the first four tricks. He leads them BOTH times he gets in. So after winning his club king at trick four, what does West lead to trick five?

Yes, I agree. It IS a silly question. I apologize. Yes, of COURSE he leads a...CLUB, because HE'S a...GIBBO robot. Just in case we were unsure of his being a GIBBO robot, his score of a COMPLETE ZERO on this board proves that he's a GIBBO robot.

https://www.bridgeba...D7%7Cpc%7CH8%7C

[benellis58]

The result was fine, but I detest the GIBBO structure for 2C auctions (which is not surprising, since I detest most of the antiquated, ineffective, illogical, poorly designed GIBBO system).

I question the wisdom of North's 3C call. I question the wisdom of North's 4D call.

Over North's 4D call, assuming (as I always do with GIBBO robots) that his bidding to date had been imbecilic, I wanted to play in NT. First, NT scores more than clubs or diamonds. Second, I CERTAINLY didn't want to play in DIAMONDS, where MY hand, the BIG hand, would be led through at trick one, potentially exposing my two doubleton kings to great danger. Thus, I checked the definition of 4NT, hoping and actually ASSUMING that it would be for play, which would make SENSE. The problem is that we were (unfortunately - ALWAYS unfortunately) playing the wretched and repugnant GIBBO system, so 4NT was Blackwood for diamonds.

There was NO way I was going to have MY hand be dummy, so I took a "preference" to clubs and bid 5C. The ox across from me characteristically raised to 6C, not having any clue whether or not it would make. That's understandable, because he's such a dimwitted ignoramus that if he wore shoes he probably wouldn't know how to tie the laces.

West made the remarkably STUPID but sadly TYPICAL lead of a diamond of all things, imbecilic GIBBO piece of dirt that he is, so with clubs 3-2, I had 13 tricks and a score of 92.9 % on the board. Ox was jumping up and down with joy, bragging about his excellent bidding. Perhaps the disgusting little twerp was unaware that from my side we would ALSO make 13 tricks in NT on any lead other than a spade, and West, being an ignorant GIBBO robot himself, probably would have made a similarly braindead lead against 6NT also. EVEN if he cashed his spade ace at trick one, however, 6NT without an overtrick would have STILL outscored 6C with an overtrick, but how scores work is probably something that GIBBO robots will NEVER understand, because they are such irredeemable I.D.I.O.T.S. That exceedingly low "intelligence" level likely also explains why Superjerk in the North was so DESPERATE to "rescue" our partnership from NT and forcefully drive it into one of his pitiful little low-scoring minor suits - one headed by a QUEEN and one by a JACK.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/2p9fybx6

[benellis58]

For absolutely NO logical reason, West leads a heart from his FOUR-bagger rather than a diamond from his FIVE- bagger. He beats me two tricks and jumps up and down, pointing to himself and bragging about his killing lead.

He scores a perfectly flat 50 % on the board, as do we (obviously).

A diamond lead would have beaten me THREE tricks.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/2p94hpxa

[benellis58]

I often operate when playing in a game with three robots. I know I'm playing "with" a total C.R.E.T.I.N. who will probably botch everything anyway, so I don't care if I mislead him. I also know that I'm playing against two other total C.R.E.T.I.N.S., so as The Band sang in "Up On Cripple Creek"..."the odds were in my favour, I had 'em two to one". In other words, I'm misleading one dimwitted "partner", but TWO dimwitted opponents.

So, on THIS board when my "partner" bid Stayman, I responded two DIAMONDS, HIDING my four-card heart suit. When he subsequently bid Smolen, I knew that we had a 5-3 spade fit and a 4-4 heart fit. Normally I would opt for the 4-4, as a 4-4 tends to play better than a 5-3. Here though, EXCEPTIONALLY, I chose the 5-3 spade fit and leapt to 4S, showing a minimum in the GIBBO system. I did that for two reasons. First, if I bid 4H (his known suit of "only" four cards) after having earlier DENIED four of either major, my clueless ox might have taken the auction off the rails trying to "rescue" us, as - being totally clueless - he is often known to do. Second, I wanted to play the hand from MY side, having already given the opponents a false picture of what I had (IF, that is, their tiny little peabrains are even CAPABLE of formulating a picture of an enemy hand).

West made the ASTOUNDINGLY stupid lead of his stiff trump. In other words, he made EXACTLY the lead I would have predicted, because I'm well aware of how unfathomably imbecilic the leads of these trout tend to be. Their expected and usual HOPELESS "defence" allowed me to take 11 tricks, as they added yet ANOTHER total zero to their shameful collection.

They stink. They rot. And those are just two of the reasons why it pays to operate against the bozos.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/mrtw7up9