[GreenMan]

diana_eva, on 2014-November-19, 11:09, said:

Can't believe people don't realize how much sexist stuff and comments anyone with a vaguely female username is subjected to on the internet, without provoking it in ANY way, simply for being online.

I like to think I'm reasonably well aware of what goes on in the world, and these days I am constantly reminded of how little I know of this particular phenomenon.

I suspect that, in large part, the average guy doesn't realize it because a) calling attention generally doesn't do any good and often just attracts more harassment, so b) lots of the objects of the abuse don't see any point in making it known, and it doesn't become visible to the wider public.

Some of the people I pay attention to are becoming more assertive in making this sort of thing public (*cough* #gamergate *cough*), but I don't know how far the word is spreading yet.

[diana_eva]

GreenMan, on 2014-November-19, 12:00, said:

I like to think I'm reasonably well aware of what goes on in the world, and these days I am constantly reminded of how little I know of this particular phenomenon.

I suspect that, in large part, the average guy doesn't realize it because a) calling attention generally doesn't do any good and often just attracts more harassment, so b) lots of the objects of the abuse don't see any point in making it known, and it doesn't become visible to the wider public.

Some of the people I pay attention to are becoming more assertive in making this sort of thing public (*cough* #gamergate *cough*), but I don't know how far the word is spreading yet.

Yes, most women consider it part of "normality" and don't bother to report each and every "hi pretty how are you" - after all, it's just people complete strangers being friendly, right? Just like we can't call the police every time someone gives us the creepy stare on the street. What is there to report? Why is that guy eye***** me?

[RMB1]

diana_eva, on 2014-November-19, 11:09, said:

Can't believe people don't realize how much sexist stuff and comments anyone with a vaguely female username is subjected to on the internet, without provoking it in ANY way, simply for being online.

When you don't see it, it is not easy to realise how much goes on. Keep reminding us!

[uday]

WBF routinely runs Women's events, occasionally online. Mixed, too, and they might have rules about which seats must be occupied by the women ( not sure about this one bec. it sounds a bit nutty. ACBL doesn't do this, tho it does run mixed events ).

Harassment - another issue. Maybe I should make a fem-username for myself and treat myself to some "oh, really?" chatter. Is the harassment truly "normality"?

[diana_eva]

uday, on 2014-November-19, 12:27, said:

Harassment - another issue. Maybe I should make a fem-username for myself and treat myself to some "oh, really?" chatter. Is the harassment truly "normality"?

On BBO not as much as on other sites, but it exists. Yep, making a female username is one experience to be tried

[barmar]

Yeah, some things make me ashamed to be a member of the male gender, although I pride myself on not participating in the harassment.

https://www.youtube....h?v=b1XGPvbWn0A

[Bbradley62]

Is this an Internet phenomenon, or a general societal/bridge phenomenon? (Do you get similar comments from male players at f2f events?)

[diana_eva]

Bbradley62, on 2014-November-19, 13:42, said:

Is this an Internet phenomenon, or a general societal/bridge phenomenon? (Do you get similar comments from male players at f2f events?)

I don't think it's bridge related. Happens everywhere, particularly the street harassment from Barry's videoclip - that IMO is the hardest stuff to deal with because you cannot report it, you just have to suck it up.

On the internet comments tend to be more abusive because of the anonymity - but then again, on BBO, I didn't find comments as offensive as on other free sites. So from this POV BBO seems more "civil" than other websites. At least that's my experience, I don't think I can generalize here, each with their own experience. I am way more visible being a yellow so I probably make a much easier target than the regular blue username. Still it happens enough to make it safe to assume women are prone to enjoy a male-free environment every once in a while and not feel "lessened" by that. Talking about the WBF event, I personally started out with an attitude like jillybean's, but I did play a few and found them very enjoyable. There's a cozy sorority feel to these events, and it's relaxing to not have to worry about being called a stupid c*** if you get into a bad contract or mess up the defense.

I don't play much live bridge, and when I do it's with my husband who is scary enough to deter anyone so I don't know how widespread this type of attitude is in live bridge.

[barmar]

In general, people are less well behaved online than f2f. It's not just sexual harassment, consider the insults about intelligence that are often thrown about in the MBC when partnering with randoms, or "flaming" and "trolling" in online forums. Anonymity and lack of social cues contribute to this behavior, I believe. It takes much more effort to insult someone to their face.

Anonymity may also explain the "catcalls" video. When a guy notices a random woman walking down the street, he (unconsciously) knows that he'll probably never encounter her again. So making a comment has no ramifications.