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1) An American football scrimmage will exert nowhere near the same pressure as a Rugby scrummage. 1 on 1 vs 8 on eight through a prop-forwards shoulders - do the maths.
Our university has both a rugby team and an American football team. The rugby team once challenge the American football team to a scrum. It wasn't even close. The rugby team got destroyed. Of course American football players are specialised, so it isn't a fair comparison. But neither are most of your criticisms.
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2) American football is a monotasking game. All rugby players require handling skills, running skills, kicking skills, tackling skills, rucking skills, mauling skills, and some require lineout skills too.
It is at the highest levels. At lower levels you have to play multiple positions. Quarterbacks have to do most of the skills you mention and it is not like Rugby doesn't have specialised positions either.
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3) Rugby has passages of play that last considerably longer than those of American football. Forwards in particulat are required to run, tackle and ruck continuously during this period of time. No rest for the wicked.
Agreed. However, it's a very different game. Rugby requires more cardio, American football requires more strength and power. It's like comparing a 100 meter sprint champion with a 10k runner and saying the 10k runner is 'better' because they run for longer. Who cares?
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4) Since Rugby became fully professional a decade ago, the speed, physicality and impact has gone up exponentially. Martin Johnson would have done his training in the time period before this. The injury rate is now very much higher than ten years ago with the increased demands on players. Rugby Sevens is another level of CV fitness altogether. Your American Football guys wouldn't have a hope.
Of course not! They didn't train to play rugby. But I can just imagine if Rugby was the national sport in the states and Barry Sanders played. That would have been fun to watch. I know the professionalism is new in the UK, but it still doesn't measure up to the training regimes that the NFL players have to go through. I somehow don't hear about 40 yard sprint times of rugby players...
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5) Ambulances? Never play against a Pacific Island side....
Interestingly enough, there are plenty of good Pacific Island players in the NFL.
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6) And when it comes to passion, hearing the Welsh crowd in full cry at the Milennium Stadium in Cardiff takes some beating...
Fill 60,000 seats at a university level rugby match and come back to talk to me. If you want passion watch an army-navy game, a cal-stanford game, a michigan-ohio state game, even a harvard-yale game. Rivalry week is absolutely crazy. When it comes to the pro level, you'll find plenty of passion too. Watch a Redskins-Cowboys game.
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7) No American Football teams do a Haka. Nuff said.
The haka is cool admittedly. But why are you taking credit for something they do in New Zealand?